“The day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took
to blossom.”
~Anaïs Nin
Tate Sprite
Professional Counselor Associate in Oregon
You’ve decided you need help with your feelings and with your struggles.
You want lasting relief and you’re willing to do the inner work this will take.
Now where do you get the support you need?
Here’s a core principle of my approach:
please pay attention to the feelings in your belly and heart as you read these pages.
Your senses will tell you if this feels right for you.
What I prioritize in therapy
Agreeing on our purpose
Many people think therapy is simply talking with a friendly listener about your problems. And sometimes, a compassionate presence during hard times might be exactly what’s needed. But I can also be used for much more than just friendly, non-judgmental, empathetic listening.
I will guide you towards getting clear on what you are wanting for yourself – both overall in therapy and in each session. If you’re not clear on that right away, that’s okay. We’ll clarify it together.
Once we have a shared agreement about what it is we’re doing, it will be much easier for us to dive in with more confidence.
Becoming someone different
There are broadly two types of therapy:
DOING-focused: gives you tools and coping skills to manage your behavior
BEING-focused: addresses deep structures of how you construct your reality and make sense of who you are
I may sometimes offer you coping skills as a useful first aid. But really, I’m in the business of helping you grow and evolve your sense of who you are. Because I believe the deep automatic structures in our nervous systems are usually at the root of our present difficulties. We have an “operating system” of unconscious life instructions. It’s always just been trying to help, but it’s now limiting us.
In therapy with me, we’re aiming for an upgrade in your basic operating system: how you experience yourself, what you believe the world to be like, what actions naturally flow from this. This means taking a risk to step into something you don’t already know today.
Learning through small steps
Paradoxically, to change the deep automatic structures, I emphasize being with what is so rather than pushing for change to happen fast. Compassionate relationship and awareness of how you actually are today creates the best environment to organically grow towards a different tomorrow.
We add conscious awareness bit by bit. I’ll never “make you” talk about your traumas; if you’re charging too full-speed ahead, I will slow you down. We move at the speed of safety: we find your edge of what you can comfortably tolerate and still be present and engaged. Then you stretch just a little beyond your comfort zone. That way you can experience small moments of success and mastery, building towards sustainable progress.
What we do in sessions
We will be slowing down, noticing and naming what’s happening within you and between us in the present. This builds your capacity to have more experiences and still be okay.
Most people haven’t learned to feel safe on purpose. I will support you with physical practices that train your flexibility: at ease with increasing stress, safe and relaxed when in no immediate danger, yet responsive to real threats.
A key part of this is a new relationship with your body. We will dwell on felt emotional and sensory experience as a source of relevant information that rationality can’t provide. It’s where deep learning takes place.
Therapy is like becoming a good parent to yourself. A therapist is a temporary model for a good-enough parent until you can consistently be that person for yourself. So, I’ll be treating you like you matter (because you do) and like you are worth being with (because you are). I’ll encourage you to treat yourself that way, too. I will be with you to help you feel things that have been too much.
At your own pace, we will do role-plays of you relating to parts of yourself or to important people in your life – in new ways, to shape new experiences and meanings.
Aligned with your values, I will encourage you to create your own practices and exploratory “missions” for the week – to help your growth and learning.
About Tate
I do this work because I like genuinely caring about people. People are magic!
I haven’t always felt this way. As a kid, I was terrified of humans and ridden with toxic shame. Early on, I was seeking and I developed a special interest in psychology and spirituality – just from an intuition that something better than this life must exist. That started an upwards spiral for me, despite the bumpiness along the way. I know in my own direct experience that profound healing and transformation can happen in a lifetime.
I’m queer in various ways, I cultivate an ecosystem of non-typical intimate relationships, I’m a first-generation Eastern European immigrant, I’m neurodivergent (from the point of view of the dominant culture), childless by choice, come from a working class conservative family and town, experienced attachment trauma and isolation growing up, was raised Catholic in a communist country, lived through the country violently falling apart, spent most of my 20’s in a cult, and now don’t adhere to any religion or party. I’ve lost many identities. I’m older than I look.
For now, I identify as ‘curious’. A book about my life should be titled “What is Really Going on Here?”
I don’t have it all together, but I value authenticity, kindness, playfulness, interdependence, and vulnerable truth-telling. I have endless trust in our natural impulse to grow and learn to be more fully human as we go along.
Clients tell me that I have a surprising way of guiding them to deeper places than they had ever done in previous therapy, and they feel transformed for it. I show up in sessions as a real fellow human who authentically relates to you – oddly, many people haven’t had that experience with a therapist! I know that for many, therapy with me is one of the most meaningful things they are doing with their life. It’s meaningful and sacred for me too.
Anything else, feel free to ask!
Specializing in
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Don’t know how to be with people and afraid to make a fool of yourself?
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Carrying the load for others but feeling depleted or isolated yourself?
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Relationships with people are just complicated and fraught?
My Training and Educational Background
My original background were multi-year, highly hands-on trainings in Mindful Experiential Therapy Approaches (M.E.T.A.)/Hakomi Experiential Psychology, Inner Relationship Focusing Professional Training, and Art of Circling Practitioner Training. I also completed experiential courses in Re-Creation of the Self (a type of parts work) and Primary Attachment. I incorporate all of these into my work.
My Master’s degree was in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at Naropa University with a specialization in Mindfulness-Based Transpersonal Counseling. The primary modality taught was Gestalt, which blends well with my other approaches.
I’m pursuing formal certification in Complex Trauma Training (currently completed Level 1 of 2) and Emotionally Focused Therapy for Individuals (EFIT) (currently completed Level 1 of 2). I’ve also completed an LGBTQ+-centered Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). My ongoing supervision and mentoring is in the traditions of Emotionally Focused Therapy, Primary Attachment, NARM, and Hakomi.
I’ve done other significant self-study in the following approaches and modalities: NARM, AEDP, Polyvagal Theory, IFS, Memory Reconsolidation, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, and ACT. All of these inform my approach to a great degree.
My supervisors are Anne-Marie Benjamin, LPC, CHT, and Sharon Hale, LMFT.
My Therapeutic Modality
The main therapeutic modality that I bring into sessions is Emotionally Focused Therapy. This attachment-based approach is non-pathologizing: we trust that a person’s inner experience as well as their actions make sense in some way that is trying to help. What has healing power is when we have enough safety in a relationship (e.g. with a therapist) that we can recognize our patterns and befriend our own emotions with compassion. Once we have new, more connected emotional experiences in real time (e.g. in therapy), we start to find a new sense of self. This way, our capacity to navigate human experience grows. With increased capacity, we can safely begin to deepen into difficult experiences from the past, to now directly feel and see and integrate them in a new, better, fuller way. Gradually, these changes shape a new story of ourselves and our lives, and naturally lead to new actions.
This approach is known to be helpful across a variety of diagnoses but especially with those facing depression, anxiety, and the effects of trauma.
Logistical FAQs
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Click to read my Professional Disclosure Statement for my latest fees and payment-related policies. I do out-of-pocket payments, some insurance, and I have some sliding scale spots.
REQUIRED DISCLOSURE TELLING YOU THAT YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW WHAT YOU WILL LIKELY PAY:
Under United States federal law, clients who don’t have insurance or who are not using insurance must be given a Good Faith Estimate of the expected charges for medical services before they first receive psychotherapy services from a given provider.
For questions or more information about your right to a Good Faith Estimate, or how to dispute a bill, visit www.cms.gov/nosurprises
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I am currently able to take OHP - Care Oregon. I don't work for insurance companies. If you have another commercial insurance, your insurance may be willing to pay an amount for you to see an out-of-network provider (me), and then you would only pay a portion of my fee (read more here, and we can talk about it).
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No, not at this time. I specialize in work with individual adults and groups. If you’re looking for couple work, I recommend finding people who are trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples.
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I only seek to establish a formal diagnosis if you are working through insurance or if you want me to. My scope of practice includes common diagnoses, such as major depression, generalized anxiety, social anxiety, PTSD, and a few others. I am not authorized to diagnose or "treat" various neurodiverse conditions. If you are having serious suicidal crises, I am not the best match and will refer you to someone else who can help you better. I enjoy working with queer people but I don't specialize in gender transitions and if you need any letter-writing, I may also refer you to therapists who specialize in this (there are many in Portland!). I do work with people who have some difficulty with substance use, but if that's the main issue or your use is severe, I will refer you to someone else. If you are showing symptoms beyond what I commonly work with, I may ethically be required to refer you to someone else for that. However, what I can do is work with you on the general underlying factors that improve your ability to handle life's challenges: the security of your attachment system, your ability to tolerate emotional experience, and the integration of your sense of self.
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I see clients both in-person and online. For those coming in person, my office is in Portland, Oregon, in the Hollywood district, near NE 47th and Sandy, easily accessible by public transportation, and street parking is also free.
The authorities I am under require me to get confirmation from you that you are physically within the borders of Oregon in order to be able to see you. -
Please click to read through my Professional Disclosure Statement and if you still can’t find the answer, feel free to ask me. My contact info is in the header and footer of this page.